I have the answers

if you want to know the truth about me and know who I really am you should ask me. I'm the good honest wise truth defending realist who is the only person who knows me. if you want to know me come to the source. I have all the answers now. I'm tired of all the false assumptions and misjudgments and accusations but its gone too far and turned my kids against me and that's the only thing that can hurt me anymore. I'm so speechless I'm rambling and may not make sense bur I don't care. my grammar is bad and let's just say unfunctionable but I have a few things to get off my mind so I can sleep before my next battle. for 7 years I've been fighting an impossible battle with no defense against the hardest living thing to kill with an endless army of lethal toxins and I made it this long out of sheer stubborness cheating death so my kids don't lose their mom again because of my strong selfless love for them. I have to be honest though. never mind. ask me if you care. what was I saying. oh who cares. anyways everything you hear from my parents, my ex husband, anthony, Bill and Deb and anyone else really is wrong. abusive or autistic or self righteous judgmental hypocrites who are just wrong about me and I don't care but I have a few things to say. it is a wrong assumption that I struggled a lot while raising my kids. if this blog makes it seem so it's because I do more writing when I'm suffering or depressed cuz it helps me feel better. like meditation. there's a word I can't remember now oh yeah it's like self reflection. and when I was happy and normal most of the time I was too busy doing lots of things with my kidsvi didn't write as much I think. but I only had one bad depression I had to ask grandma to help and here is the answer to Bris question she asked 8 years ago. why did she lose her mom for a whole year. the answer is because I got bipolar psychosis. because my mom did not tell me I could have bipolar like her so I wasn't taking the right meds. a mood stabilizer instead of just an anti depressant would've prevented the major manic episode after a stressful divorce that led to psychosis the next spring. I don't have memories from that year but Dom told me he told both families the crazy things I was saying and doing I obviously needed someone to take me to the hospital or therapist or doctor or since everyone assumed I was doing drugs even a rehab would've figured out I was in psychosis and prescribe resperidone which fixed me. but nobody helped me. I lost my job so I was broke so how was I buying supposedly expensive drugs. hmm. I'm not a drug addict or unfit mom. I tried drugs for the first a t time in my life the manic summer but was responsible and smart about it and again ask me if you care. but the psychosis was all bipolar and I lost my job and my kids which were my world and my 600,000 home and when I did end up at my brother's house they kept me captive there cuz they thought they were rehabbing me from a bad drug and told me to do the legal drug Marijuana which causes paranoia for me so it was feeding my psychosis reality making me worse. but after several months with no improvement my parents finally did the right thing and brought me to the hospital where I was diagnosed and got my mind back. then realized all I lost and why and had to start my life over with 50,000 dollars so I bought a cheap old but remodeled tiny mobile home that had toxic mold behind every wall and high amount in the air I breathed 24 7 for 3 years I gained 60lb chronic inflammation right away cuz I have compromised immune system which means I'm full of toxic mold. and have had to fight for my life I was unable to take my kids back and now I just don't want to say the truth. I don't want to hurt my kids. but if you care to know your mom ask me for the truth. cuz there are things you don't know. like bri I am not falling asleep. I have droopy eyes from nerve damage and it's hard to correct but I try when it's important. and I only have bipolar but I will forever take a mood stabilizer r so I don't get psychosis again like I did 2 July's ago isaac the month I lost my phone I thought I had it like I thought I was taking my medicine but it was like muscle memory. Eric finally found my medicine and helped me take it till my mind came back. it's amazing how the brain works. right now I'm hanging on by a few brain cells. that's my attempt at humor. so there you have it. some answers. some truth if you want to really know me I'd say hurry but I don't know when this will be read anyways. so it isU what it is. I hate that saying. and my t I ping is bad because I have wat r ty blurry vision from nerve damage I can't see what I type so im not gonna bother editing t ING this post. it is what it is and people are not gonna like it but don't blame me cuz im just the truth teller. if you don't like the truth fix yourself. leave me alone. stop talking bad about me to my kids. stop thinking you know more about me than I do cuz that is just absurd. I know more about you than most of you do cuz of who I an. I have said enough tho. I'm done. need to sleep now and fight a battle I hope to start winning. I mean never mind. the end.

OCD its me again

it is March 26th, 2026. I just re-published all 369 blog posts for my kids to enjoy. I highly prefer things in chronological order but unfortunately the posts are now out of order and in random chaos and may not have the original publishing dates. please excuse the unraveling of My Family. it is a reflection of my life now I plan to start writing about again. enjoy the pictures of my wonderful kids. love, mom.

Fall days

One of the many things I love about the City of Gladstone is the free leaf pick-up. Our neighbors made a mountain of leaves that Brianna loves to climb. Isaac joined her for a picture.

4A Boys Soccer State Playoffs

Tyler's team beat North Valley last night 3-0! It was an exciting (and very cold) night. We will host the Quarterfinal match against Seaside on Saturday, November 10th at 3pm.

Coach Lewis in the center of the huddle:


The fans in the Stadium:

Uncle Steve, Grandpa Johnson, Dom, Isaac, Kari, Auntie Beth, Brianna (on Grandma's lap)

Konnor & Dom playing gameboy, Grandma & Grandpa Eymann, Uncle Kevin & Pastor Bob
(Isaac in front staying warm)

Auntie Resh

League Champs

2007