I have the answers

if you want to know the truth about me and know who I really am you should ask me. I'm the good honest wise truth defending realist who is the only person who knows me. if you want to know me come to the source. I have all the answers now. I'm tired of all the false assumptions and misjudgments and accusations but its gone too far and turned my kids against me and that's the only thing that can hurt me anymore. I'm so speechless I'm rambling and may not make sense bur I don't care. my grammar is bad and let's just say unfunctionable but I have a few things to get off my mind so I can sleep before my next battle. for 7 years I've been fighting an impossible battle with no defense against the hardest living thing to kill with an endless army of lethal toxins and I made it this long out of sheer stubborness cheating death so my kids don't lose their mom again because of my strong selfless love for them. I have to be honest though. never mind. ask me if you care. what was I saying. oh who cares. anyways everything you hear from my parents, my ex husband, anthony, Bill and Deb and anyone else really is wrong. abusive or autistic or self righteous judgmental hypocrites who are just wrong about me and I don't care but I have a few things to say. it is a wrong assumption that I struggled a lot while raising my kids. if this blog makes it seem so it's because I do more writing when I'm suffering or depressed cuz it helps me feel better. like meditation. there's a word I can't remember now oh yeah it's like self reflection. and when I was happy and normal most of the time I was too busy doing lots of things with my kidsvi didn't write as much I think. but I only had one bad depression I had to ask grandma to help and here is the answer to Bris question she asked 8 years ago. why did she lose her mom for a whole year. the answer is because I got bipolar psychosis. because my mom did not tell me I could have bipolar like her so I wasn't taking the right meds. a mood stabilizer instead of just an anti depressant would've prevented the major manic episode after a stressful divorce that led to psychosis the next spring. I don't have memories from that year but Dom told me he told both families the crazy things I was saying and doing I obviously needed someone to take me to the hospital or therapist or doctor or since everyone assumed I was doing drugs even a rehab would've figured out I was in psychosis and prescribe resperidone which fixed me. but nobody helped me. I lost my job so I was broke so how was I buying supposedly expensive drugs. hmm. I'm not a drug addict or unfit mom. I tried drugs for the first a t time in my life the manic summer but was responsible and smart about it and again ask me if you care. but the psychosis was all bipolar and I lost my job and my kids which were my world and my 600,000 home and when I did end up at my brother's house they kept me captive there cuz they thought they were rehabbing me from a bad drug and told me to do the legal drug Marijuana which causes paranoia for me so it was feeding my psychosis reality making me worse. but after several months with no improvement my parents finally did the right thing and brought me to the hospital where I was diagnosed and got my mind back. then realized all I lost and why and had to start my life over with 50,000 dollars so I bought a cheap old but remodeled tiny mobile home that had toxic mold behind every wall and high amount in the air I breathed 24 7 for 3 years I gained 60lb chronic inflammation right away cuz I have compromised immune system which means I'm full of toxic mold. and have had to fight for my life I was unable to take my kids back and now I just don't want to say the truth. I don't want to hurt my kids. but if you care to know your mom ask me for the truth. cuz there are things you don't know. like bri I am not falling asleep. I have droopy eyes from nerve damage and it's hard to correct but I try when it's important. and I only have bipolar but I will forever take a mood stabilizer r so I don't get psychosis again like I did 2 July's ago isaac the month I lost my phone I thought I had it like I thought I was taking my medicine but it was like muscle memory. Eric finally found my medicine and helped me take it till my mind came back. it's amazing how the brain works. right now I'm hanging on by a few brain cells. that's my attempt at humor. so there you have it. some answers. some truth if you want to really know me I'd say hurry but I don't know when this will be read anyways. so it isU what it is. I hate that saying. and my t I ping is bad because I have wat r ty blurry vision from nerve damage I can't see what I type so im not gonna bother editing t ING this post. it is what it is and people are not gonna like it but don't blame me cuz im just the truth teller. if you don't like the truth fix yourself. leave me alone. stop talking bad about me to my kids. stop thinking you know more about me than I do cuz that is just absurd. I know more about you than most of you do cuz of who I an. I have said enough tho. I'm done. need to sleep now and fight a battle I hope to start winning. I mean never mind. the end.

OCD its me again

it is March 26th, 2026. I just re-published all 369 blog posts for my kids to enjoy. I highly prefer things in chronological order but unfortunately the posts are now out of order and in random chaos and may not have the original publishing dates. please excuse the unraveling of My Family. it is a reflection of my life now I plan to start writing about again. enjoy the pictures of my wonderful kids. love, mom.

Fall days

One of the many things I love about the City of Gladstone is the free leaf pick-up. Our neighbors made a mountain of leaves that Brianna loves to climb. Isaac joined her for a picture.

4A Boys Soccer State Playoffs

Tyler's team beat North Valley last night 3-0! It was an exciting (and very cold) night. We will host the Quarterfinal match against Seaside on Saturday, November 10th at 3pm.

Coach Lewis in the center of the huddle:


The fans in the Stadium:

Uncle Steve, Grandpa Johnson, Dom, Isaac, Kari, Auntie Beth, Brianna (on Grandma's lap)

Konnor & Dom playing gameboy, Grandma & Grandpa Eymann, Uncle Kevin & Pastor Bob
(Isaac in front staying warm)

Auntie Resh

League Champs

2007

Best Friends

Konnor is Dom's best buddy. His older brother, Kyle, is on Tyler's soccer team.

11-3-2007

10-10-2007

Gladstone advances to Semifinals

Gladstone beat Seaside 4-3 in overtime!! We thought we had it, up 1-0 until half-way through the 2nd half. 1-1. Then Seaside scored 2 more goals, 1 minute apart, and with 7 minutes left we were down 1-3, thinking it was over for us. With only 2 minutes to go in the game we did the impossible; we scored 2 goals, forcing the game into overtime. Goal #4 came in the last 2 minuntes of overtime to win the game. Seminfinals are in Klamath Falls, at Henley, on Tuesday, November 13th.

Fans in the stands (3 Lewis brothers!)

Isaac is wearing new booties made by a player's Grandma

After the game mom and the kids (and grandparents and aunties and uncles - thank you for coming!) went to Dom's soccer awards party where he got his trophy for playing Micro soccer. Then we went where papa and his boys were still celebrating their amazing win!
Dom proudly showed his soccer trophy to all the soccer boys

Who has the better mohawk?!

We're going to the 'ship!

Gladstone beat Henley 1-0 so we are playing Mac-Hi in the 4A State Championship game on Saturday, November 17th at 6pm in Wilsonville.

Goal Oriented

"Goal Oriented" Isaac - 3 months old.

2nd Place

"The dominant team doesn't always win." Gladstone played a great game and had more shots on goal but Mac-Hi got one in the net and that's all it takes to win. That's the way soccer (and life) goes sometimes. (McLoughlin 1, Gladstone 0) Tyler is an amazing coach and I was hoping for a state championship for him this year (his 11th year of coaching high school boys soccer)...but I am reminded that "great is your reward in heaven." Although I'm still heartbroken as I write this, I know what Tyler does for his boys and what he teaches them (not talkin' about just soccer, of course) has more relevance eternally than a 1st place trophy. Romans 2:6-7. It was a great year!

It's always hard to say good-bye to the Seniors but this year we have to say good-bye to 12 great soccer players. All the boys had mohawks!


(in Henley)

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for these sweet kids...

I am thankful for my amazing husband (who smoked a great Thanksgiving turkey and carved it)...
I am thankful Reshma made the rest of the delicious food we ate (and I didn't have to do anything!)...
I am thankful for video games and movies so a very tired mom could have a day of rest... And of course I am thankful for all the loving friends and family we have....THANK YOU!!!

Work

Does your laundry look like this? It's so easy to wash and dry it but folding it and putting it away is so time consuming. I'm proud of my pile! (it looks better in person) I'm more proud that yesterday I logged in 10 hours of work on the computer! (at home, with kids) Amazing, but the sad truth is, having deadlines makes me a procrastinator, and my kids watched a lot of tv after school. I also managed to get 3 loads of laundry washed (still trying to catch up from soccer season laundry, not procrastination) and drove the kids to school and picked them up (different schools + different times = 4 trips a day) and the other every-day mommy jobs. Sigh. Today I hope to finish my work (didn't actually get it all done in 10 hours) and put away this mound of clean laundry, only to make room for a new pile of clean laundry I washed today! (and finish this post) Another day of all work, no play!

This reminds me of something cute Dom said to me not too long ago. I asked him to help me with extra housework one day and he said "mom, I'm just a kid, and kids are supposed to play!"

A Christmas weekend

Friday night Tyler took the family to a dramatic interactive walk-through nativity experience, "Follow The Star." We walked with the Magi to the temple, where Jesse told us to keep searching for the newborn King. (looks like he is speaking directly to Dom in this picture:)We visited King Herod, were chased by Roman soldiers on real horses, were with the shepherds when the angels appeared, walked through crowded Bethlehem looking for a place to stay until we arrived at the stable and found Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus.
Saturday we had the Lewis Christmas party. It was wonderful to see everyone!! and to spend the first day of the Christmas Advent (our family starts the countdown chain on December 1st) in the spirit of Christmas. The Lewis great-grand kids were the center of attention; handsome and adorable:
The Lewis grand kids:
There are more pictures from these events in our web albums. Look to the right for the Link.

Christmas Tree

Today we went out to my dad's Christmas tree farm and picked out our tree! These trees are from the overgrown Christmas trees that dropped seeds before my dad bought the property...so they are a more "natural grown" Noble tree. I love them!
My dad has planted thousands of baby Christmas trees on 20 acres...to be harvested in 5ish years.

Sleepover

The Trost family (Tyler's wonderful coaching assistant) came over for dinner Saturday evening and their youngest daughter, Emily, got to have her first sleepover! Dominick (6) Emily (5) and Brianna (4) had a blast playing together until the wee hours of the night.

Dominick was the knight (with sword and shield), Emily was the cheerleader and Brianna the princess, although it was really just Dominick chasing the girls! :-)

They were up by 8am to play some more. Brianna says, "I had lots of fun playing, her my goodest friend, I have 2 Emily friends I love!" (Bri calls her "funny Emily" and cousin Emilie "serious Emilie")

Isaac 4 months

Isaac went to his 4 month check-up today. He is 25 3/4" tall, 80th percentile, and weighs 15lb 6oz, 60th percentile. Compared to his brother and sister at 4 months, he is growing at a faster rate and outweighs them by 4.5 lbs. When did they weigh what he weighs now: Brianna was 14lb 15oz at 12 months, Dominick was 15lb 8oz at 9months.

That's why we call him "Chunky-B"!

This bear was a gift from Grammy's good friend, Cindy Clark, when I had Dominick. I took a picture of Dominick with the bear every month for his first year and I did the same for Brianna, so of course I will be taking a picture of Isaac with the bear every month until his 1st birthday to show the progress of his growth. We have had the bear for 6 1/2 years but have not named him. Any good ideas?

Isaac's Nicknames

Tyler informed me I wrote Isaac's nickname wrong in the last post (I wrote Chubby-B), so I just corrected it. Blame it on a late night posting, I combined one of his nicknames with another. Papa calls him "Chunky-B", Brianna used to call him "Chubbabbubba", Dominick calls him "Izee" and mama calls him "lil Chubs" or "lil toot" (he is my gassiest baby)!

Blazer Fans

Isaac went to his first Blazer game Friday night, December 14th! We share season tickets with a few others so we get to go to a couple games a month. As you can see from the pictures, we are up high in the nosebleed section. It was an exciting game; the Rose Garden was sold out and our section was packed with loud Rip-City fans! They all loved Isaac's 'hawk and Blazer outfit. Isaac slept throught the 2nd & 3rd quarters but woke up in the 4th quarter to watch the Blazers win their 6th game in a row! I just got home from the game tonight and the Blazers have now won 8 in a row!

Portland is No. 2 in blogging

A week ago, Thursday, December 13th, this article in the Oregonian caught my eye. I don't usually read the paper, I was probably looking through it for ads, but I'm glad I saw this blog-looking article on the cover of the Living section. It was a great topic of conversation for Tyler and me. "Pretty cool...Portland is the second-bloggiest area...second to Austin, Texas." Those of you who use blogger may like to know that the man who wrote the software for it lives in Corvallis. In the article, some Portland bloggers stated their reasons blogging is so popular in Portland. My favorite reason: "short answer: we're chatty - even if no one's really listening!" Other reasons: the rain keeps us inside, we rank high for technology/wireless use, and because so many people come to Portland from all over-blogging is a way to stay connected. Tyler had a good reason that was not mentioned in the article. Allison will give an Amen to this: Starbucks=Caffeine! My reason for blogging? Right now, just to post pictures and updates of our family and quickly growing kids. I didn't want to start a blog when everyone else I knew had one, because I didn't know what I would say. This last year has been the hardest for me and I don't have anything positive to say (what's that saying, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all) but I can post pictures (a picture speaks louder than words) and someday you might get to read a little of what is going on in this mind of mine.

I can't post without a picture!

Dom & Bri love to dress up and pretend to be Joseph & Mary. Last year they performed a play for us on Christmas Day. This year they are excited to have a real baby to play baby Jesus!

Have a joyful, blessed Christmas!

Love,

Our Family

White Christmas!

For more pictures of Christmas go to....http://picasaweb.google.com/karitamarita

Merry Christmas from our family!!

We got to have a white Christmas! Isaac's first taste of snow was on his first Christmas.