I think I Can, I think I Can't...

I'm an over achiever. Somedays.
I think I can. Because "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," right?
But some days I think I can't. Some days I listen to the voice that said I'm not good enough, I'm mentally crazy and I can't do it alone.
Those days I forget I'm not alone.

I have done a lot of things in my almost 38 years of life. The first few years I drove my mom crazy because I am stubborn and don't like to sleep, but I'm making it up to her ;) My third kid didn't sleep through the night until he was 7, karma. It was my mom who fixed that issue during the two weeks I was in Brazil. Thank you mom!

I've always worked. I worked hard at being a bossy oldest sister. In Junior High I was hired to babysit my annoying little sisters and bratty little brothers. :) I love you guys and will forever be grateful for everything you do for me!
In High School I worked with my dad, Eymann Construction. Found out I love to paint and I'm especially good at small details. I can do any job I'm asked to do, but I have one limit. I don't like roofing in the rain.

After I married, after High School graduation, I worked at Fidelity National Title company. A secretary, then an escrow assistant, closer/notary, then part time odd jobs when I became a mom. Imagine typing on the computer at a desk while nursing the baby in my lap because toddler was finally down for a nap. Or imagine the excitement of getting to shower and dress nice and put make-up on to go into an office full of adults while my littles stayed with Grandma.
I've done several different jobs since the economy crash in 2008. FNT had to let go of a little part-timer. I was a preschool teacher, Avon distributer, International Exchange Student host/rep and caregiver.

I learned there is one thing I can't do. Sell things. I give too freely. Not a good trait for a salesperson.

Work, work, work, in addition to the 24/7 job of being a mom. The most important job.
In my free time I like to take care of others and do what others want me to do.

January 2008

So, if I seem lazy lately, I'm aware of it and it's by choice. Whether it is an I can or an I can't day. I'm choosing to take care of me now.

Somedays I think I can't do it all anymore and I don't want to do anything ever again, especially adulting. It feels like a miracle when I make it through those days and I realize the kids are alive, I actually did something.
Somedays I think I can, but I I've learned I don't have to do everything. It's ok to take a break for myself when I need a break.

Lately I need a lot of breaks.

and "Joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5