I started writing in journals in middle school, when everything was confusing and changing.
I started a "mommy journal" when Dom was born. I filled it with special memories, cute and funny things the kids did or said. Kids say the darnedest things!
Write. Write your feelings, thoughts, dreams, problems, accounts of the day. Write your prayers, needs, wants, scriptures, quotes. Write it Down and someday read what you wrote. You will learn and grow. If nothing else, I realized how much i didn't know back then and omg I could have written that better.
Read. The hardest things can make sense when you read. betrayal: "the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship" - wikipedia. Yes, this is what I am experiencing. I need to learn more…
I'm relieved I wrote in journals because there was much I chose to ignore or hide but still I wrote it down. 20 years later, it was time to deal with the reality and I had proof I was not crazy like he said. I wold not be talked down this time.
It was easier to forgive the girl I thought was naive and blind because here was proof she knew the problems, yet chose to love and marry. Stupid maybe, but she had hope. I can't be mad at myself for believing people can change but I had to forgive myself .
I'm relieved I wrote in journals because there was much I chose to ignore or hide but still I wrote it down. 20 years later, it was time to deal with the reality and I had proof I was not crazy like he said. I wold not be talked down this time.
It was easier to forgive the girl I thought was naive and blind because here was proof she knew the problems, yet chose to love and marry. Stupid maybe, but she had hope. I can't be mad at myself for believing people can change but I had to forgive myself .
Writing keeps us accountable.
The Sunday before court, we sang a song in church that impressed on me the importance of our words…written or spoken…
"Overcome"
"We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome."
Write your testimony. Tell others. Don't hold it in. I did that far too long. I wrote in my journal but I didn't tell anyone.
We can overcome - our fears, our sins, our struggles - by believing in Jesus, his love and sacrifice and resurrection, and by our words.
"confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so you may be healed." James 5:16
"they triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death." Revelation 12:11
No comments:
Post a Comment