No Shame

I recently finished a great book, Bo's Cafe, which is for those who "harbor a longing to be authentic", who want to live an open, honest life and have genuine, true relationships.
As usual, with my writings, I didn't know how to start this post, or title it, but was given the answer last week, right after I finished the book. We were relaxing at the kids' Christmas play practice, talking about getting cookies for after the performance. Pastor Bob said he could get them because he loves going to Costco. He likes to go in the middle of the day when they have all the samples of food out. He goes around the whole store sampling everything, does his shopping, takes off his coat and/or hat, then goes around the store again, getting to sample everything a second time! :) big smile by me. Brenda says, "no shame! hehe" That's it, I say! no shame. Why do some people have a hard time being open and honest, whether it's a matter of morals or sin or just other people's opinions?! I too have gone back for seconds at Costco, especially for another drink. They always have plenty of food samples, but only one juice sample! How many people would not confess they've had more than one sample of their favorite thing at Costco because they're worried about people judging them?

"Down in that city, millions of people are hiding stuff, presenting only what they think they can control. They carry around guilt or anger or bottled-up hurt and don't have any idea where to put it. It eats at them..." I was one of these people for a long time. Just ask my husband. He thinks I still am ;) But I know where to put it now. Jesus took it from us. I believed in Jesus at a young age, but it took me a long time to truly receive God's gift of grace (God's Riches At Christ's Expense) Like the book says, "will grace finally win?" This is a quote from facebook: "you have to pass through a dark night of the soul. Everyone does. A time comes when what you have always believed is true melts away underneath you. When you cast in doubt even the most obvious, the most simple. When it seems that dark night is all around, and you are all alone, take heart, this journey through the abyss is the final barrier before your emergence into the heavenly light of a new synthesis of your being. God is waiting for you on the other side."

A Safe Place. "If you're tired of the cycle (I am!) and actually consider some of this, you might just get healthy....What if there was a place safe enough to tell the worst about you and still be loved just as much, if not more, for sharing it? Safe is a place where you can get out the worst about you and they don't run you off or talk you down...it's having someone to stand with when you start to face the shameful stuff...where you don't have to hide or fake or pretend or bluff...It's real hard to watch someone cover pain with something that makes them hurt even more." I want to be a safe place for others and long for being in a safe place.

What is Grace? "It's a lot different than trying to love others or God enough. It's learning to say, 'if God says I'm worthy of being loved, then I'm worthy.'" The definition from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary is: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification. Another definition is: unmerited favor; kindness from God we don't deserve.

So what happens when you receive God's grace and you can share openly and honestly in a safe place? "Your stuff starts to get resolved! It'll feel like you've opened Pandora's box. Because now you know you, and all the garbage inside. And you're terrified someone else will now see it. But here's the difference-It won't matter to you anymore. If they see the truth about you, you'll actually be happy...because you'll see all your junk now only through God's eyes, through the eyes of love, not condemnation...Protective Love creates vulnerability. It'll begin to free and heal you."

The book is mostly about the husband, who has anger issues, but it kept nagging at me while I was reading, what about the wife? I saw myself in her and knew something wasn't right with her either. I'm not pointing the finger saying I'm suffering from the same, or even different, issues inflicted on her, but at her reactions. Finally, at the end of the book it was addressed. It is precisely what I need to work on. "I became convinced I was a better person than____And I held it over him. God was freeing him, and at home I was retying all the knots. I thought I had to be in control to get my life back...And slowly life leaked out of my husband." I've said before I struggle with pride and I'm afraid it has created issues in my marriage and I need to ask for forgiveness, hon.

"Don't be afraid. I know who you are. You know too much to listen to the lies now. Nothing to come can change that. I've got your back."

"Integrity is proven when you admit what you can't do and honor what you say you can."

Quotes from Bo's Cafe written by John Lynch, Bill Thrall and Bruce McNicol. A great book!

look at me now through God's eyes and help me by pointing out my issues when they surface again rather than believing they are all that I am.